I know I have made you cry a hundred times. I know I have broken your heart and played with the obliterated pieces over and over again. I know I have made mistakes and destroyed us beyond the point of repair.
I have accepted it. I know there is nothing I could do in this life to make all of it go away. And I know there won’t be another life for me to change it all over again.
I just want to ask you for one last favor!
When I am gone, don’t cry to sleep each night. Don’t beat yourself up with those memories of mine breaking your heart every time. Just remember the way Sadah once loved you. Remember the beautiful days we had. The days like those I spent resting in your lap. The days when you sang me to sleep. The days that were so beautiful that they always seemed to pass away in a snap.
I will always cherish every moment I spent looking into your eyes, holding your hand, sitting with my arms wrapped around you; the moments when I felt safer than I ever will.
I want you to remember me for what I once was. I want you to pay no heed to what I became.
I know I am obnoxious. But when I loved you, I did that in the best way I could.
It’s just that, after a certain point, I started to break and reform into what I actually was.
I know you were capable enough to hold me close. I know you were capable enough to save me from vaporizing. But… you didn’t.
Whatever the reason was, I am sure it was the right choice. Because if you had tried, I might have taken you down the rabbit hole with me.
And I would never want that to happen to you.
P.S. When I am gone, remember me for the times I made you smile. Remember me for ‘Afterlife’.