I stopped living years ago. I was alive, I was breathing, my heart was beating too; but I wasn’t actually living.
I don’t even remember what it was like to have an actual life. I don’t know what it is like to be around people. Laugh, smile, cry and be happy with them. Rather, I didn’t know that.
Then, I met you. And the whole world turned upside down. I didn’t fall in love with you. I flew in love! It was as if the entire Earth was a sheet of cotton on which you and I were walking and dancing our way through.
You made me human. You made me realize and understand what a human should be like. You taught me ‘Humanity’. Without you, I was just a machine. A robot!
Though you never really loved me like I loved you, but whatever you did, I can say now, it was more than enough. A lot more than I deserved.
I have never been someone reliable. I am irresponsible, eccentric, annoying, ignorant and arrogant. I can’t change. I have tried. I can’t!
I thought I could. But the fact is, no matter how hard someone tries to change his/her original programming, it just leads to a lot more glitches and broken codes.
And then it is just a game of repairing, rewriting, reviewing, and repeating it again and again.
It never ends.
There is one thing that I am more than sure of and need more than everything else. That one thing has been the only constant over all these years.
I want you to be happy. And I… well, I cannot make you happy.
I can try. I might even succeed. But it will be for a week or a month or a few months at most. Then I will again say something insensitive or incriminating and you’ll end up getting hurt all over again.
I am not meant to be a Human! I know I am supposed to be one. But the reality is, I am not ‘MEANT’ to be!
You are and will always continue to be a part of me that I will love beyond bounds. I will continue to love you ever-so-fondly. But… from a distance. I don’t want to ruin you anymore.
You are the love
The light in me
You are the Sun, the Moon, the entire Universe
You are ‘THE LIFE IN ME’