Still a Million Miles from Normal


I am not like other people. I can never be. I can never be that person who does things in the moment because they feel good. I want things to feel right in the long run. I don’t want to have a moment and lose on an opportunity of future. I would rather have a better tomorrow than have a moment right now.

I overthink? No. Thinking is an involuntary action for me. That is the only thing I know how to do. I have to think. That is the way I was programmed. For people like me, there is no such thing as overthinking. I make up various situations, ask questions, answer them and then worry over a hypothetical result. But then, that is the reason I am where I am today. My situations might be hypothetical, but they do have a touch of reality to them. I analyze!

And just like other people can live in the moment without thinking about the past or future, I can’t. My brain isn’t so naive as to not have those thoughts. Or maybe, it is too naive to not be able to get over them. I just need a place of solace where nothing exists, but thought. That is the only thing that has kept me functional. I can’t change that. I can’t stop thinking. The thing that seems as overthinking to you, is just a normal everyday routine for me. I am too complex. But then, that’s what one gets with an intelligence quotient as high as mine.

I cannot be normal. I cannot be sane. I cannot be that guy next door. I cannot be perfect socially. I am not that person. No matter how hard you and I try, I will never be able to become that.

If you want, I will try as hard as I can, but you have to understand that it won’t be easy. It might not happen so fast. It might even take years for me to take even 1 step towards normality from the place where I am right now.

If you let Earth = Normal, I am not even in the same orbit.

P.S. If you still want to keep trying, I don’t know what to tell you. There is most certainly no use of ruining your happiness for someone who might not even understand its worth.

Categories: love, Poetry

34 replies

  1. I literally love when you said “My situations might be hypothetical, but they do have a touch of reality to them. I analyze!”…. This is so true and I find that so many people I come across don’t understand this concept.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Where are you from? But I do understand what you’re saying. I really do. There could be a million people around and it’s hard to find a handful of like minded people. Genuine like minded people.

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  3. I have often pondered the theory that there is such a thing as normal. Perhaps the term only exists so that we can measure what we consider to be abnormal. Your normal and my normal are perhaps very different but if we were all the same how boring this existence would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Humans are unique. Normality is nothing but the characteristics of the majority. What we often call abnormal is actually ‘deviant’, not exactly ab-normal (or the characteristics of the minority). That is how abnormal got that tag of negativity that is not actually its own. We are all different and abnormal in one way or another.

    Anyway, I can very much relate with these words – the hardship of being a ‘thinking person’, especially when we want to manage social or personal relationships. You might think that you would hurt the person you like/love, because of the emotional insensitivity. Thinking people find it easy to think and difficult to feel (also difficult to understand and verbalize emotions).

    It took some time for me to resolve the issue (at least partially). Hope you will find your own solution(s) soon.

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      • You can be not-hurting too. And can even be a source of happiness. I wouldn’t tell you this unless I know for sure. It indeed is possible, only if you find the way.

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  5. Reblogged this on Site Title and commented:
    Don’t expect me to be perfect because I can’t, I can’t be the person you want me to be I can only try to attain to that level. you are not also perfect. there is one attitude in you that I don’t like but you don’t see anything wrong with that because you are not also perfect like me!

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  6. I love this. I felt like my mind was running at a million miles and hour and am thinking too much but maybe my mind is kinda like yours and the thinking is just something that happens. That is really funny that you said earlier that most people can’t understand what you say – I think you word it pretty easy and concise to understand.

    Liked by 1 person

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